Total Recall
Don't Go! Loud, garish, futuristic flop.
Amnesiac spy mind-reactivation.
The linchpin of this movie is a revolutionary lounge called "Rekall". There, anyone looking for a quick life-fix can have delightful memories implanted in their brain. It is therefore brilliantly ironic that Total Recall gave me the urge to tear open my skull and forcibly remove any and all memories of it from my mind.
Directed by the same chap (Len Wiseman) that put together Underworld, and Live Free or Die Hard, his choice to make a $125 million remake of an Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi movie put him in a rather precarious position. Casting Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel and his own wife, Kate Beckinsale, pushed him slightly closer to the precipice. He might yet have survived, but the finished film un-apologetically kicked him off the edge and spat on him as he fell.
Directed by the same chap (Len Wiseman) that put together Underworld, and Live Free or Die Hard, his choice to make a $125 million remake of an Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi movie put him in a rather precarious position. Casting Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel and his own wife, Kate Beckinsale, pushed him slightly closer to the precipice. He might yet have survived, but the finished film un-apologetically kicked him off the edge and spat on him as he fell.
Why? Well it is silly. The plot is silly, with delusions of intelligence and complexity. The world is divided into just two states - first, the domineering "United Federation of Britain" and second, "Australia", (cheaply named "The Colony"). Even sillier is that the only means of travelling between the two countries is by a massive elevator that goes through the centre of the earth in just 17 minutes. This is particularly silly now that I have read a blog post by a thoughtful physicist and learnt that a real elevator travelling through the centre of the earth would take at least 46 minutes. So yes - it is even scientifically silly. And then we arrive at a rebel alliance competing against a nefarious Chancellor played by Malcolm in the Middle's Dad in a blonde wig (Bryan Cranston). Silly, silly, silly. And that is even before we reach the amnesia story-line, crossed with the calamitous "this could all be a dream! Isn't it a dream? It's a dream! Dammit it's not a dream...or is it!?" angle. How very, very silly indeed.
Despite the silliness, it really needn't have been unenjoyable. Great movies have been based on far sillier premises, but have had the acting and direction to pull it off. Colin Farrell is fine – he just gets on with it. Credit goes to Kate Beckinsale, who is elegantly violent and brutally beautiful; and pulls off her anti-hero character with plenty-o-wallop. Without her involvement, the film would have been far worse off. Unfortunately, any excitement she builds is sadly demolished by Jessica Biel as Farell’s ally and love interest. She not only slopes around looking like she bought all of her outfits from the Primark "forlorn rebel" range (on sale), she also delivers an empty performance. As a result, there is barely any of the necessary chemistry between her and Farrell, draining the underlying passion that should be driving the film forward.
Despite the silliness, it really needn't have been unenjoyable. Great movies have been based on far sillier premises, but have had the acting and direction to pull it off. Colin Farrell is fine – he just gets on with it. Credit goes to Kate Beckinsale, who is elegantly violent and brutally beautiful; and pulls off her anti-hero character with plenty-o-wallop. Without her involvement, the film would have been far worse off. Unfortunately, any excitement she builds is sadly demolished by Jessica Biel as Farell’s ally and love interest. She not only slopes around looking like she bought all of her outfits from the Primark "forlorn rebel" range (on sale), she also delivers an empty performance. As a result, there is barely any of the necessary chemistry between her and Farrell, draining the underlying passion that should be driving the film forward.
Onto the direction. The film is lavished with special effects and while some of the action sequences are engaging, there is a huge problem in that they simply never end. The whole film plays out as one single, loud, obnoxious chase scene with only the briefest of pauses. Like watching a strobe light while listening to Korn on full blast for 2 hours it is relentless, gratuitous and exhausting to the point of numbness.
The equally amnesiac but contrastingly brilliant Bourne Trilogy echoes throughout this film and acts as a constant reminder of what a disappointment this Total Recall is. Don’t go. Buy any of a number of films that this film fails to emulate (including the original) and watch them in the comfort of your own home. Time, and money, much better spent.
The equally amnesiac but contrastingly brilliant Bourne Trilogy echoes throughout this film and acts as a constant reminder of what a disappointment this Total Recall is. Don’t go. Buy any of a number of films that this film fails to emulate (including the original) and watch them in the comfort of your own home. Time, and money, much better spent.
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