Ted
Don't Go! Crude bear falls short.
Live teddy swears.
I am a fan of Family Guy. It's smart, sharp and pushes boundaries without (usually) going too far. When I heard that Seth MacFarlane - the mind and voices behind Family Guy - was making Ted, a feature length film with real people and an animated teddy bear, I began salivating at the mere idea. Then, the cast! The charismatic Mark Wahlberg alongside alluring Black Swan, Mila Kunis. Salivation turned to drooling, and I excused myself before I was tranquilized as a rabies threat.
Then (by this point entirely rabid) the storyline! A young boy named John (Wahlberg) gets a teddy for Christmas (Ted, voiced by Seth MacFarlane) and wishes for him to come alive. He does! The pair "grow up" together as best friends, eventually becoming a couple of childish, stoner layabouts. We meet them when 35-year old John's relationships with Ted and his girlfriend (Kunis) are competing for supremacy (surely with hilarious results!). I'm laughing already! A solid platform, plenty of scope for side-splitters - everything was looking good.
Then (by this point entirely rabid) the storyline! A young boy named John (Wahlberg) gets a teddy for Christmas (Ted, voiced by Seth MacFarlane) and wishes for him to come alive. He does! The pair "grow up" together as best friends, eventually becoming a couple of childish, stoner layabouts. We meet them when 35-year old John's relationships with Ted and his girlfriend (Kunis) are competing for supremacy (surely with hilarious results!). I'm laughing already! A solid platform, plenty of scope for side-splitters - everything was looking good.
Perhaps my saliva-drenched expectations were too high. Finally sitting in the cinema, I actually became bored. My mouth suddenly became extremely dry; arid with disappointment.
There were some notable highlights - some good slapstick; a few whip-crackingly sharp lines; some great creepy dancing and some solid set-pieces of comedy acting from the two leads. But the rest of the film felt like it was made by a drunken seventeen-year-old boy, who had skipped school and watched far too many eighties movies. The film felt cheap and lacking, particularly knowing what MacFarlane is capable of.
As you might expect, there was a rich abundance of profanity. No longer restrained by network television's sensibilities, MacFarlane wheels around the room serving up plate after plate of crudities. Kunis even squeezes in a C-bomb. This potty-mouth is at the centre of the film's problems. Rather than being forced to keep it clean and be as clever as he is on Family Guy, MacFarlane relies too heavily on the premise that a cuddly toy who smokes weed, drinks, fornicates and swears is automatically funny. That lazy premise very quickly becomes tiresome. With a storyline that is a backdrop rather than interesting in itself, I soon felt the clunk of the second-hand on my watch. Swearing without smarts or storyline just isn't ****ing funny.
There were some notable highlights - some good slapstick; a few whip-crackingly sharp lines; some great creepy dancing and some solid set-pieces of comedy acting from the two leads. But the rest of the film felt like it was made by a drunken seventeen-year-old boy, who had skipped school and watched far too many eighties movies. The film felt cheap and lacking, particularly knowing what MacFarlane is capable of.
As you might expect, there was a rich abundance of profanity. No longer restrained by network television's sensibilities, MacFarlane wheels around the room serving up plate after plate of crudities. Kunis even squeezes in a C-bomb. This potty-mouth is at the centre of the film's problems. Rather than being forced to keep it clean and be as clever as he is on Family Guy, MacFarlane relies too heavily on the premise that a cuddly toy who smokes weed, drinks, fornicates and swears is automatically funny. That lazy premise very quickly becomes tiresome. With a storyline that is a backdrop rather than interesting in itself, I soon felt the clunk of the second-hand on my watch. Swearing without smarts or storyline just isn't ****ing funny.
The shock humour, movie references and talking animal are very much reflective of Family Guy and MacFarlane's other creations (American Dad and The Cleveland Show). The difference there is that each episode is just 22 minutes long and not every one is hilarious (nor do they need to be). Making the leap to the big screen is difficult - the comedy has to be consistent over 2 hours, the characters have to be bigger and everything has to be backed up by some kind of meaningful storyline. To simply try and make a cartoon into a real-life action film has potential, but it just doesn't work on this occasion.
Overall, if you are a drunken-seventeen-year-old-truant, you will probably want to cosy up to Ted. If you aren't, don't go. Just snuggle up instead with BBC 3 on any weeknight to enjoy MacFarlane's best work.
Overall, if you are a drunken-seventeen-year-old-truant, you will probably want to cosy up to Ted. If you aren't, don't go. Just snuggle up instead with BBC 3 on any weeknight to enjoy MacFarlane's best work.
#ted #cinema #moviereview #filmreview #movies #films #godontgo